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New Truth In Feline Advertising Laws to take effect January 1st:
As a result of heavy lobbying from the Cats 4 Cats group, a feline-focused organization that advocates for feline rights, the new Truth In Feline Advertising Laws will be implemented in the new year. The TIFAL laws pertain primarily to labeling of cat-related products and goods, to ensure full understanding from pet owners of the items they are purchasing for their feline companions.
Some examples of the new labeling includes new warning stickers on all cat toys that such items carry no obligation or guarantee that cats will in any way acknowledge the existence of the toys, nor will the presence of a toy deter or detract a cat from scratching nearby ankles.
Other label changes include all feline 'clothes' and related novelty items now featuring a disclaimer that their use may cause human discomfort and bleeding.
Some household items not intended for cats but that may effect a cat's life are also included in the legislation. USPS and FedEx are working hard to implement the new rule that all items shipped in cardboard boxes will now contain stickers stating 'This box contains an item less exciting than the box itself.'
Florists will also be affected by the new rules. Lilies, including the popular Stargazer lilies and Easter lilies, will now be required to carry a sticker with a picture of a dead cat.
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Dear Reader, all content is only meant as (hopefully) funny and entertaining veterinary news. This is not real veterinary advice. Please let me know if you feel any of the content is offensive.
Weekly Vet News
Dogs Disqualified from Euro 2020 Soccer Cup
Canines of all breeds have been disqualified from the upcoming European Cup soccer tournament after repeatedly biting into and thus destroying the expensive soccer balls.
German Shepherds and multiple cattle dog breeds received multiple warnings for biting the opposing players’ ankles and herding them into the center circle in the middle of the field that is used for kick-off.
Golden Retrievers and Labradors chased the balls down and regularly brought them back to the referees leading to complaints by game officials.
English bulldogs passed out on the way out of the locker rooms onto the field before the games even started due to breathing difficulties.
None of the dogs new the words to their national anthems and howled while the opposing team was singing theirs.
Dachshunds frequently peed on the goal posts and beagles dug holes into the perfectly manicured soccer fields.
Blood hounds followed the opposing players scents’ into the locker room during half time and were accused of stalking.
Chihuahuas were caught humping opposing teams’ goalkeepers, thus gaining an unfair advantage.
Many canines’ bad breath lead to fans and autograph seekers passing out during post game activities.
New Fragrances for Pets Introduced
After the overwhelming success of fragrances introduced at last month's ‘Paris Fashion Week’ the leading manufacturers decided to add new fragrances right away.
Valentino success with 'Gar-báge' lead to the development of 'Flat-ulónse', a powerful cologne that supports a heavy scent of dead fish with a hint of sulfuric acid.
Versace added 'Hal-itósis', a delightful mixture of the smell of tooth abscess with the sensual undertones of acid reflux disease. A true classic that took the fragrance world by storm.
'Gan-gréne' by Armani received a warm welcome by dogs and cats alike. The powerful olfactory sensation of rotting flesh and necrotic tissue appealed especially to mature audiences.