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Genetics

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Vizslas and Weimaraners found to be entirely separate breeds of dog;



Long presumed to be simply the juvenile, or larval stage, of a Weimaraner, scientists have now discovered that Vizslas are in fact their own separate breed of dog.  For decades, the small, reddish dogs were assumed to be an early developmental stage of the large, silver Weimaraners.  It had been postulated that Vizslas molt at 3-4 years of age into their full adult coloration.  Besides the similar appearance shared by the dogs, other evidence for the single-breed theory included the fact that Vizslas appear to lack the basic cognitive capacity and self preservation instincts required to survive to sexual maturity.  

New evidence, however, has emerged after in-depth research by 39 and Me, which found that while most Weimaraners are a mix of Labrador, Great Dane, Chihuahua, Basset Hound, Short-hair Pointer, and Rottweiler, the Vizslas are actually most closely related to Grey hounds, Beagles, Wolf hounds, Shih-tzus, and Ermine.  This, compounded with the fact that a Vizsla chrysalis has never been found, led scientists to conclude that the two dogs are unique breeds.  A representative from the AKC was quoted as saying; "What is wrong with you people?"      

The researchers state they next intend on investigating the mass hallucination that is collectively referred to as 'Silver Labs.’

 Stomach



“We have had enough. Dry dog food laced with all these flavoring substances is just appalling”. This has been the battle cry of stomachs in most parts of the country for the last years. The constant in and out of subpar food products led to protests by stomachs that started in the upper Midwest, but quickly engulfed both coasts as well. The lack of culinary satisfaction pushed the organs to increased frequency of vomiting as a way to voice their displeasure.


Negotiations with the colon and rectum broke down after they failed to cooperate, stating “that by the time we get the food it all looks the same anyway”. Stomachs also blamed the brain for their too rational approach of emphasizing caloric intake over more pleasant digestive options. In response brains threatened stomachs with expulsion from the body which quieted discontent at least temporarily.


The 2019 labor contract guaranteeing at least 10 % of food provided in the form of table scraps might be an important part of a long term solution to the issue.






How does the Placement of Food Items in the Refrigerator Affect “Stealing” Behavior in Pets?



While it is common knowledge that grocery stores place items for the average consumer to see them more easily, less has been known on how dogs and cats respond to placement of “high value” items inside the refrigerator. 

43 dogs (ranging in size from low riding Dachshunds to Great Danes) and 12 cats were enrolled in the study. Hot dogs (for dog population) and herring ((for cats) were placed on one of 5 shelves at different levels of height inside the fridge.

Observations:
Small breed dogs (aka Dachshunds): easily maneuvered their way throughout the entire fridge. Lower shelves were accessible with back feet on the ground, while the sausage shaped nature of their bodies allowed them to squeeze into the appliance climbing from shelve to shelve, using the butter tray in the door for additional leverage.
Medium size breeds (Beagles, mid-size hounds): started to howl at the sight of the food items indiscriminately (foolishly alerting their owners) and then dove into a pile of hot dogs on shelve 3 (middle shelve) in a predictable manner.
Large breeds (Great Danes, Labrador Retrievers): fervently attacked hot dogs on the 2 top shelves, devouring dozens within merely 25 to 30 seconds, drooling over all the lower shelves in the process.
Cats: looked disgustedly at the herring on the lower shelves, now covered in dog drool …and walked away appalled. 

Conclusions:
a panel of animal behaviorists and trainers came to the conclusion that it is best to leave the refrigerator door closed if animals are in the house unsupervised.